He blinked when he suddenly felt you holding his hand, looking at you with his brows slightly furrowed. He listened attentively to what you were saying, then huffing and looking away, his fingers slightly wrapping themselves around your hand. “I-I thought you were ready… you told me you were…” He pressed his lips together and looked at their hands, then pulling his back. “Just…” He felt like he was about to cry and covered his mouth.
He watched you with a small frown. “I thought I was…I really thought I could do it but…I knew I’d hurt you eventually…and you’d hate me. And I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t do that. I thought that…this why you could move on.” When he sees you cover your mouth he stands up, unable to take it anymore as he wraps his arms around you. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t be there for you…I couldn’t be the perfect boyfriend you wanted…I’m sorry Taeminnie…I’m so sorry.” He looked down at you, his fingers gently carding through your hair. “Just please don’t cry…”
He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down, then looking at you suddenly when he saw you getting up. He froze in his spot when you wrapped your arms around him, split between the nice feeling of having you touching him like that again and the fact that it wasn’t right. No… it was terribly wrong. He shifted a bit away from you, gulping and looking down. “P-please Jonghyun, don’t touch me like that…” He dug his fingers into his jeans and tears fell down his cheeks. “Just… we can’t be friends, can’t you see? This is not right… I-I don’t like the way it makes me feel I just get… confused and sad because I know that I can’t and I won’t have you.” He sniffed and kept looking down. “And as I said before, I don’t hate you… I’ll never hate you, but right now I can’t stand just being friends with you… it’s too soon.” He looked up at you with his blood shot eyes. “And you don’t need to be sorry for any of that, since you didn’t feel the same way…”
He pulled his arms away quickly, taking a step back as his cheeks turned red in embarrassment, feeling the eyes of other people in the cafe on him. He crouched down so he could look at you, keeping his hands to himself. His heart ached when he saw the teardrops hit your jeans. “I…I understand. And I’m sorry, but I can’t leave you like this. Not while you’re crying so hard. I’m sorry Taemin…you don’t deserve this…don’t cry over someone as stupid as me.” He lets out a soft laugh, resisting the urge to take your hands again. “I’m just an idiot who can’t look after someone so beautiful. Find someone who can… But please..just remember that I didn’t do it because I wanted someone else, I did it because I can’t fall in love. Everyone…” He trails off and shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. But…just please don’t cry. I’m an idiot, Taemin. I’m not worth your tears.” He reaches out and quickly wipes your cheeks, sighing when he sees your eyes. “If you want me to go, I’ll go. Just please don’t cry anymore.”
