He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down, then looking at you suddenly when he saw you getting up. He froze in his spot when you wrapped your arms around him, split between the nice feeling of having you touching him like that again and the fact that it wasn’t right. No… it was terribly wrong. He shifted a bit away from you, gulping and looking down. “P-please Jonghyun, don’t touch me like that…” He dug his fingers into his jeans and tears fell down his cheeks. “Just… we can’t be friends, can’t you see? This is not right… I-I don’t like the way it makes me feel I just get… confused and sad because I know that I can’t and I won’t have you.” He sniffed and kept looking down. “And as I said before, I don’t hate you… I’ll never hate you, but right now I can’t stand just being friends with you… it’s too soon.” He looked up at you with his blood shot eyes. “And you don’t need to be sorry for any of that, since you didn’t feel the same way…”He pulled his arms away quickly, taking a step back as his cheeks turned red in embarrassment, feeling the eyes of other people in the cafe on him. He crouched down so he could look at you, keeping his hands to himself. His heart ached when he saw the teardrops hit your jeans. “I…I understand. And I’m sorry, but I can’t leave you like this. Not while you’re crying so hard. I’m sorry Taemin…you don’t deserve this…don’t cry over someone as stupid as me.” He lets out a soft laugh, resisting the urge to take your hands again. “I’m just an idiot who can’t look after someone so beautiful. Find someone who can… But please..just remember that I didn’t do it because I wanted someone else, I did it because I can’t fall in love. Everyone…” He trails off and shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. But…just please don’t cry. I’m an idiot, Taemin. I’m not worth your tears.” He reaches out and quickly wipes your cheeks, sighing when he sees your eyes. “If you want me to go, I’ll go. Just please don’t cry anymore.”
He looked down immediately, not standing to stare at you in that state, then turning his head to the other side when he saw you crouching down next to him. He bit his lip tightly as he heard you speaking, tightening the grip on his fingers and trying his best not to sob loudly. “Y-you don’t understand… no one wants someone like me.” He sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his arm. “E-everyone what?” He looked at you confused, his bottom lip quivering a bit, then shifting away when you touched his cheeks. “M-maybe it’s better if you do… I don’t want you to look at me anymore… not when I’m crying like this.”
He sighed and tried to get you to look at him without touching you, biting his lip. “Taemin, why wouldn’t someone like you? Don’t speak like that… I loved you, I still do. But…everyone I love dies.” He shakes his head, looking up at you. “I didn’t want to see you get hurt as well. You’re like…a porcelain doll to me. You’re something so fragile, beautiful and special that I can’t let get hurt. I wanted to protect you but I ended up hurting you. And I’m so, so sorry for that.” He reaches up, gently brushing a hand in your hair. “I’m not going anywhere until I’m sure you’ve stopped crying. I might be a complete asshole, but I’m an asshole who cares about you and doesn’t want to see you cry.”
