He looked down immediately, not standing to stare at you in that state, then turning his head to the other side when he saw you crouching down next to him. He bit his lip tightly as he heard you speaking, tightening the grip on his fingers and trying his best not to sob loudly. “Y-you don’t understand… no one wants someone like me.” He sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his arm. “E-everyone what?” He looked at you confused, his bottom lip quivering a bit, then shifting away when you touched his cheeks. “M-maybe it’s better if you do… I don’t want you to look at me anymore… not when I’m crying like this.”
He sighed and tried to get you to look at him without touching you, biting his lip. “Taemin, why wouldn’t someone like you? Don’t speak like that… I loved you, I still do. But…everyone I love dies.” He shakes his head, looking up at you. “I didn’t want to see you get hurt as well. You’re like…a porcelain doll to me. You’re something so fragile, beautiful and special that I can’t let get hurt. I wanted to protect you but I ended up hurting you. And I’m so, so sorry for that.” He reaches up, gently brushing a hand in your hair. “I’m not going anywhere until I’m sure you’ve stopped crying. I might be a complete asshole, but I’m an asshole who cares about you and doesn’t want to see you cry.”
He shrugged and looked away, staring out of the window and trying his best to hold back his tears, then getting angry with what you said, raising the tone of his voice and looking at you. “Do you see me dead?! Do you honestly think that’s a plausible reason to break my heart?“ He bit his lip and sniffed again. “It doesn’t matter anyway… what’s done is done and I’m sure that I won’t make the same mistake again.” He wiped his eyes one last time and got up from his seat. “Well if you’re not going anywhere, then I will… I don’t understand how you say that you care for me when you just broke my heart, it makes no sense for me.”
Jonghyun flinched when you snapped at him, starting to tremble a little. He realised that nothing he said would work since you were so angry at him, so he kept his gaze on the ground. When he felt you stand up he just stayed where he was, kneeling by your feet. He nodded helplessly and slowly moved to stand up, stepping back to let you pass. He didn’t meet your eyes and seemed to shrink beneath your gaze.
